The "Damsel in Distress"
Dude… I want one more.
One more… why? You already have enough of them- replied God.
Well yeah but you see, this one’s gonna be the best of them all, bringing to them the greatest suffering they could they could ever have imagined- Satan was brimming with excitement.
You know I can’t allow that… I’m God. I love humans.
There was a brief moment of silence, after that they looked at each other and burst out laughing uncontrollably.
Context: it just so happened that devil was getting bored one day and decided to create one more
monster. He had this great idea but he needed God’s approval for creation of the monster so on he went to meet his best bud and this is what followed.
But dude seriously- said god, you do have a lot of demons already. You have demons and werewolves
and vampires…
Don’t even get me started on Vampires- Satan cut god off , Just now Oracle told me that in the days to come Vampires are gonna change from blood sucking frightening monsters to glittering pale supermodels whose sole purpose will be to seduce 17 year old self-destructing girls. Man, just the thought wanna make me throw up the human soul soup that I ate for breakfast.
What?? Are you serious? That’s so sick, but hey wait, Oracle told you?? Isn't she supposed to be working for me? Why would she tell you the future and not me?
Oh man!! Sometimes I wonder who made you the god. The Oracle has always worked for me.Why else would there ever be the need of an oracle if it isn't to make your life miserable. Haven’t you heard that the person who foresees the calamity suffers it twice?
Well… yeah, but you haven’t yet told me the name of this monster that you are creating.
Ok- said Satan, excited again- I name it “Damsel in Distress”. Cool isn't it??
Doesn't sound that cool to me?? How someone who’s in distress could can be a monster??
Dude- you are so stupid. The whole concept of “Damsel in Distress” or DiD as I like to call it is to bring as much suffering as possible. DiD is designed to affect the life of people whom other people follow. You know superheroes, Demigods, writers, politicians etc… those kind of people. And when they suffer the whole human race will be terrified of them. The DiD will at first act like they are in severe need of help, that they are the only sufferers in this world, they’ll lure the hero into false sense of security, he’ll feel like that he needs to do whatever is needed to help this poor creature, gradually over time he’ll be so much into her that he’ll lose himself. Then she'll show her true character and the life of the hero will be destroyed forever.
That’s a clever plan. But what makes you think that the hero won’t recognize the monster?
That’s the beauty of my plan. See, I’m not creating the monster from the scratch, I’m using one of yours. the fairer half, everything about them will be the same. Except the heart, I will give them a drop of my own blood. This blood will keep them normal most of the time, but in the presence of true heat of love, it’ll show its true character, it'll be repulsed by the very thought of it. It’ll tear apart the heart of the hero.
but still man... they'll figure it out... then your plan will fail.
No, it won't,devil was so sure that even god was surprised, it is because i'm also giving them the ultimate weapon of all time. something that no hero could ever resist. More powerful than Zues's thunderbolt or Thor's Mjolnir or Tsar Bomba.
oh yeah... God was skeptical now... and what would that weapon be??
Tears. It'll be tears. Nothing could break a resolve more than tears flowing from beautiful eyes
Dude- that’s so evil…..
The devil looked at the god and said – DUH…. I am the Devil himself man, what do you expect. But to tell you the truth, it’s not entirely original idea. In fact I have taken it from you only.
From me??? What, when, how???
Remember the time you first created humans and they were all gross ,had double bodies, with faces and limbs turned away from one another. The "androgynous," who were half male, half female. Remember how they tried to scale the heights of heaven and planned to take over your realm for they were so strong. And how you decided to cripple them by chopping them in half, in effect separating the two bodies condemning them to search for their other half all their life. How they go on believing that only that person could heal their brokenness, make them “whole” again. I can’t believe how effectively that worked. Millennia have passed and they haven’t recovered. How did you do it?
For the first time in the conversation, the god stood up and looked at the vast expanse of the sky and
said – there is a reason that I’m god. It's because I know how to keep them in chains.
The devil got up too, so I have your permission for DiD then??
Yes, you have… go ahead show them who’s the boss???
So the devil went on creating one of the most truly evil creature in all known history of mankind. It’s
been said that you can still hear him laughing at the success of his best creation. As for the humans… well
if your creator wants you to suffer, how much can you avoid???
One more… why? You already have enough of them- replied God.
Well yeah but you see, this one’s gonna be the best of them all, bringing to them the greatest suffering they could they could ever have imagined- Satan was brimming with excitement.
You know I can’t allow that… I’m God. I love humans.
There was a brief moment of silence, after that they looked at each other and burst out laughing uncontrollably.
Context: it just so happened that devil was getting bored one day and decided to create one more
monster. He had this great idea but he needed God’s approval for creation of the monster so on he went to meet his best bud and this is what followed.
But dude seriously- said god, you do have a lot of demons already. You have demons and werewolves
and vampires…
Don’t even get me started on Vampires- Satan cut god off , Just now Oracle told me that in the days to come Vampires are gonna change from blood sucking frightening monsters to glittering pale supermodels whose sole purpose will be to seduce 17 year old self-destructing girls. Man, just the thought wanna make me throw up the human soul soup that I ate for breakfast.
What?? Are you serious? That’s so sick, but hey wait, Oracle told you?? Isn't she supposed to be working for me? Why would she tell you the future and not me?
Oh man!! Sometimes I wonder who made you the god. The Oracle has always worked for me.Why else would there ever be the need of an oracle if it isn't to make your life miserable. Haven’t you heard that the person who foresees the calamity suffers it twice?
Well… yeah, but you haven’t yet told me the name of this monster that you are creating.
Ok- said Satan, excited again- I name it “Damsel in Distress”. Cool isn't it??
Doesn't sound that cool to me?? How someone who’s in distress could can be a monster??
Dude- you are so stupid. The whole concept of “Damsel in Distress” or DiD as I like to call it is to bring as much suffering as possible. DiD is designed to affect the life of people whom other people follow. You know superheroes, Demigods, writers, politicians etc… those kind of people. And when they suffer the whole human race will be terrified of them. The DiD will at first act like they are in severe need of help, that they are the only sufferers in this world, they’ll lure the hero into false sense of security, he’ll feel like that he needs to do whatever is needed to help this poor creature, gradually over time he’ll be so much into her that he’ll lose himself. Then she'll show her true character and the life of the hero will be destroyed forever.
That’s a clever plan. But what makes you think that the hero won’t recognize the monster?
That’s the beauty of my plan. See, I’m not creating the monster from the scratch, I’m using one of yours. the fairer half, everything about them will be the same. Except the heart, I will give them a drop of my own blood. This blood will keep them normal most of the time, but in the presence of true heat of love, it’ll show its true character, it'll be repulsed by the very thought of it. It’ll tear apart the heart of the hero.
but still man... they'll figure it out... then your plan will fail.
No, it won't,devil was so sure that even god was surprised, it is because i'm also giving them the ultimate weapon of all time. something that no hero could ever resist. More powerful than Zues's thunderbolt or Thor's Mjolnir or Tsar Bomba.
oh yeah... God was skeptical now... and what would that weapon be??
Tears. It'll be tears. Nothing could break a resolve more than tears flowing from beautiful eyes
Dude- that’s so evil…..
The devil looked at the god and said – DUH…. I am the Devil himself man, what do you expect. But to tell you the truth, it’s not entirely original idea. In fact I have taken it from you only.
From me??? What, when, how???
Remember the time you first created humans and they were all gross ,had double bodies, with faces and limbs turned away from one another. The "androgynous," who were half male, half female. Remember how they tried to scale the heights of heaven and planned to take over your realm for they were so strong. And how you decided to cripple them by chopping them in half, in effect separating the two bodies condemning them to search for their other half all their life. How they go on believing that only that person could heal their brokenness, make them “whole” again. I can’t believe how effectively that worked. Millennia have passed and they haven’t recovered. How did you do it?
For the first time in the conversation, the god stood up and looked at the vast expanse of the sky and
said – there is a reason that I’m god. It's because I know how to keep them in chains.
The devil got up too, so I have your permission for DiD then??
Yes, you have… go ahead show them who’s the boss???
So the devil went on creating one of the most truly evil creature in all known history of mankind. It’s
been said that you can still hear him laughing at the success of his best creation. As for the humans… well
if your creator wants you to suffer, how much can you avoid???
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